I remember the first time I heard about a woman faking an orgasm, I think I was about 19 years old. It was the most foreign concept to me….. I remember thinking what was the point of faking it? if you’re not going to reach climax then you work on that together or do it yourself… right?
It took me a while to figure it out why a woman might feel the need to fake it. I took the time to talk to women about it (because let’s be honest I could talk about sex all day anyway) the common theme was women not wanting to offend the man, essentially their ego’s. I was intrigued….
I then decided to talk to some female same-sex couples, their answers were very interesting. The concept of faking it was quite foreign to them! They felt like they were responsible for each other’s pleasure and they were willing to work to give each other the ultimate pleasure, they didn’t come from it as an achievement to make each other climax it was more of an act of love, plus they felt like they had a bond that the other person would know if they were faking it anyway.
So whats the go with women feeling that when they are with a man they need to fake it? I dug a little deeper and chatted with some of my male friends and colleagues… I asked them ‘why do you want to make a girl climax’ most of the guys said it makes them feel good when they can make a girl climax…. hmmmmm I found this answer so interesting and a stark comparison from same-sex couples. Most of the men that I talked to felt that a female orgasm was an achievement for them, it was like a badge of honour where the woman and her pleasure was not a part of it.
WOW, so what to make of this information? I thought about it for quite a while… everyone could draw many different conclusions from this, it could be so so so easy to just start a man-hating rant about men being selfish pigs (which is not true) but a lot of people love drawing long bows about men and justifying it through the now ruined world feminism (new blog coming out on that topic soon)
My conclusion, women’s bodies have been controlled by so many different societal structures, medical and religious being the major ones; that many women feel like their bodies are not their own. They feel like they owe it to others to fit into a certain mould, that from a very early age we have had people telling us what we can and cant do, down to the clothes we wear and how many sexual partners we should or should not have. So, of course, that has affected most of us down to the point that our orgasms are not even our own… and we know that men have been groomed by society to feel entitled to our bodies to some degree, so how could we possibly tell a man how to give us an orgasm when we may not even know our bodies well enough to tell them ? and we subconsciously feel owned or that we owe our bodies to others.
So I propose this for all women no matter what age… get to know your body, take ownership of you as your own being, as your own woman, love your self emotionally and physically, TAKE YOU POWER BACK, buy toys, get your self off and always communicate the things you do and don’t like with your lover and please do yourself and the world a favour, stop stroking men’s egos and robbing yourself of pleasure… DON’T FAKE IT.